① A guy is on a tour of a factory that produces latex products. At the first stop, he's shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise."The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mould," explains the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: 'Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!'"Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?""Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.""Well, that can't be good for the condoms!""True, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
② A woman walks into a post office and notices a middle-aged, well-dressed man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. As he seals each envelop he sprays it with a puff of perfume. The woman's curiosity gets the better of her, so she goes up to the man and asks what he is doing.The man replies, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'""But why?" she asks."Because I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
③ A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school:"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
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