security guards...again

nth much lah...juz abt ytr i and my buddy xx(xiao xi) went to the national libary to do hw then 1st we went to the 11th floor to read(cos damn quite there hahaz),then go inside hor still muz check wat book u brin inside then bags are nt allowed inside must put in outside de locker...stupid rite? then after that i wan to do hw liao, when i wan to go inside the security guard dun let me in....she say sch de book is nt allowed....u nvr see her cb face...i really wanna slap her u noe? Then no choice hv to go down stair... :-(

stupid teacher

Today morning i went to sch then ganna a teacher at the sch gate[ some whr further behind] then the security guard dun left me go then said in his stupid india english " ur~zhoe（shoe) laze..."i was thinkin wat he had said then started laughin...then here cm the stupid teacher...then say my socks was tooo low then call me to go and pull up...later then she spot my brown hair then she ask me "did u dyed ur hair?" acctually i wanted to say no and tell her it is natural but i wanted to be a "乖小孩" so i told her yeah....then she gimmi a cb look then ask wats ur class and name?...and she ask me to go see mr amba after temperature takin....but luckyly he was in a gd mood when i go see him then he tell me nicley to dye back my hair....i cannot imagine wat will happen to me if susie caught me....felt so lucky O(∩_∩)O

funny jokes【really funny】

① A guy is on a tour of a factory that produces latex products. At the first stop, he's shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise."The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mould," explains the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: 'Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!'"Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?""Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.""Well, that can't be good for the condoms!""True, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"

② A woman walks into a post office and notices a middle-aged, well-dressed man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. As he seals each envelop he sprays it with a puff of perfume. The woman's curiosity gets the better of her, so she goes up to the man and asks what he is doing.The man replies, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'""But why?" she asks."Because I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

③ A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school:"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

super funny jokes~【some r chinese】

英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”

小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！

英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！

英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."


英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM后羿！」 B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」 轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」

英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.

英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！” 后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！” 日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计 程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”

Sian~ =.=#

2day morning nvr eat breakfast, then go sch the first lesson ganna P.E like shit lor...after p.e i was like so hungry...but when go to canteen i suddenly dun feel like eatin liao~juz wanted to slep slep slep, so i eat very little【when i say very little i really mean VERY LITTLE!】cos i scared later eat until i fall aslep...but hv to dahan until after sch....then the last lesson is our stupid chinese lesson....then i hv to wait 4 everybody to finish thier compo then can go eat haizz=.=##

Hellow

Erm...hellow every one....tis is my 1st eng blog...got a strange feeling posting eng....maybe got use to post chinese liao lah haharzz...sounds stupid rite?....i have never do a eng blog myself, so it's like alittle bit tuffer then chinese blog....chinese blogs are much easier....